TSW. Trichotillomania. Books. Life.

Wednesday, 14 October 2015

TSW through the eyes of a parent (Part 2)


Both my mum and I thank you for the lovely response to her last post here. As promised, here is part 2! A quick backstory if you weren't already aware: I am just over 28 months into Topical Steroid Withdrawal and doing SO well. I am not going to say anything along the lines of 'I'M HEALED!' as there is a chance, with winter coming soon in the UK, that I will flare again but for today, it's wonderful and I couldn't be happier. My mum looked after me from day one and her first post was made up of diary entries she had written down through the first month or so of my withdrawal. This post will be all about how she is feeling now, 28 months later and how she found the whole experience.

Also just to let you know last week I set up an Instagram account (here) where I post up to date skin pictures - before and afters, the food I eat and general life stuff. Plus if you have Bloglovin, you can now follow my blog on there by clicking here.

Hugs
Cara xxx


In my mum's words:
When my daughter asked me to write a follow-up to my diary I said yes and knew what I would say, but sitting down to actually write this is so difficult. The last two years are very hard to describe. They have been so challenging for both of us in different ways. It is lucky that I work from home so I could look after her properly, but I wouldn’t have been able to leave her anyway, especially in the first six months.

When things started getting really bad about three weeks in, the initial excitement of knowing that Cara could be free from topical steroids turned to fear. Her face was swollen, her skin was weeping including her ears and I was so worried about her. Reading blogs and watching videos helped, but it was still so new, and I was worried that Cara might be an exception. I am so glad she was strong and that the decision to carry on was out of my hands. All I could do was support her and make her as comfortable as possible. 

I bought lots of bedding because sheets and pillowcases had to be changed every day (and sometimes during the night) due to weeping skin. Neither of us got a lot of sleep during the first year. Because her hands were so bad, I washed her hair and had to do quite a lot for her physically that she was unable to do. I had a routine every day and worked long hours which stopped me thinking too much about what was happening. 

It is difficult to explain to people what TSW is. A friend of mine who has known Cara since she was a baby popped in one afternoon and when he saw her he was very upset and said afterwards that she looked like she had been badly burnt.

Looking back now, it’s all a bit of a blur and I am so glad Cara took photos because it would be difficult to remember just how bad it was. 

Cara wanted me to write about my experience and all I can say is that I have found out I am stronger than I thought. I felt a bit desperate at times, but got through it, and I appreciate everything now. I have found out so much about Cara and myself and it has changed us both for the better. It was a long road (26/27 months) but it is wonderful to see her so well now. She might flare again, but she is enjoying the simple things like having a quick shower and getting dressed, walking outside in all weathers without being uncomfortable and not thinking about her skin. I do a double take sometimes when I look at her because she looks just like she did before she started TSW and I was beginning to think that would never happen. Also, her skin is better than ever now and a creamy colour whereas before TSW, I realise it had a bit of a grey tinge to it.

I hope TSW and TSA are taken seriously by all doctors soon. About 4 months ago, an age spot I had on my hand became red and angry and changed shape. I left it for a few weeks, but it didn’t get better. I went to the doctor and he said he would give me a cream and if it didn’t work, to go back. I asked if the cream was a topical steroid. He said it was and I said that my daughter was going through topical steroid withdrawal and she wouldn’t be very happy to have it in the house. He winked and smiled and said, ‘Don’t tell her’. I just walked out of there stunned, didn’t get the cream and the spot cleared up on its own.

To anyone going through TSW, and carers looking after TSW sufferers, especially those with young children, my heart goes out to you and I am sending you a big hug xx

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6 comments

  1. I am anxiously awaiting more of her diary entries. It may seem like a lot of tedious information to you both since you have lived it, but to those of us that are starting this journey, it is so, so valuable. I think most people that are so far along (20+ months) are sick of talking about TSW and probably just want to move on with their lives entirely (I know I will). So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, to both of you, for putting in the effort to share all of this detail. I am reading every bit of it, and nothing makes me happier or more hopeful than hearing from people that have survived the worst of it and are finally seeing normal skin again. Please don't stop sharing this! It's so helpful. You are both wonderful gifts to humanity. <3

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    1. Dear Rachel

      Both me and my mum thank you for such a lovely comment <3 My mum unfortunately didn't write any more diary entries as life got a little too crazy as she was not only working from home full time but looking after me. I am so sorry about that - she wishes she had carried on with them but she just had no time :( I will say though that I promise not to disappear. When I was in the throes of TSW, the people that got better just vanished (I totally understand too why they do) and I started to panic there was some kind of conspiracy or something but I wanted to help if I could as I know how scary it all is with the doubt and fear that creeps in.

      If you are having a hard time or have any questions, you can always email me (tswcara@hotmail.com).

      I will be putting up more blog posts and videos soon. My mum is considering writing more of her experience with eczema and TSW.

      Sending you big hugs
      Cara (and my mum) xxx

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  2. Hello Caa today I could finally read all you and ur mum post, and It really touched me, I just had a showerd and check myself so red after and itchy (but its itching less after.. I need admit) its pretty frustrate and mostly times I cry for a while and this time I decided read ur posts and watch ur first video with pictures, I feel so much better having you as my exemple and showing me ill get better like you did. Thanks to make me belive when my im loosing my hopes...
    by the way I need tell you that my lips seem much better, they dont flare this days and no itchyness jusr a little redness after shower but comes down, normal after my lips peel off they had a red skin but seems its allmost normal I need admit.
    Arms and nipples have phases.. my nipples have very painfull wounds and close with time and zinc cream.
    And my arms are the mosty itchy areas, red somethimes but mostly times just the darker elephant skin like my nipples.
    I am positive and I am happy cause as I heard the elephant skin its its the next phase after the rednes, feels I am in the right way!
    and If i am here its becaue you inspire me with ur journey!! thanks cara, wish you the best you are looking beautiful!!

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    1. Thank you so much Camille <3 I'm very happy that my videos/blog help you when you are having a hard time. Wonderful to hear that you are feeling positive and that your lips seem to be getting better :) I do hope the wounds on your nipples and arms heal soon so you get a bit of comfort in those areas!
      Wishing you continued improvement and have a lovely Sunday.
      Big hugs
      xxx

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  3. Hi Cara,
    How are you?
    I wanted to start by saying I love your blog. It saddens me to see other people with eczema because I know just how much it can make you suffer.

    I'm 19 and I've suffered with Eczema my whole life, I'm assuming just like you. I've just plucked up the courage to begin my own blog which will include TIPS I've learned for eczema management over my years, my own stories, photos of my eczema, how it's improved, supplements etc to take..
    And I would just REALLY appreciate the support if you could follow me and recommend me to any other fellow sufferers you know.. I of course will be following back!
    Here is my blog: http://itchyandblotchy.blogspot.co.uk/

    I really want to connect with as many eczema sufferers as I can and see if we can all find a way to beat this disease together :-)

    Please do follow and visit my new blog!
    http://itchyandblotchy.blogspot.co.uk/

    Thank you SO much.
    X

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    1. Hello there!

      Thank you for the lovely comment <3 Well, my blog is a little about eczema but more to do with spreading awareness of Topical Steroid Withdrawal. Just checked your blog and I look forward to your posts in the future, a great idea :)

      Best of luck with it all!
      Hugs.
      Cara xxx

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