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Thursday, 13 October 2016

My skin story & how I stopped using all moisturisers


I have got to the point in my skin journey where I feel like I've got to get all this information down before it slips away - it already feels like it happened to another person so to have it here for you, and for myself really before it's gone, is extremely important. To be able to talk about moisturiser withdrawal, I think I need to first give you a bit of background so you can fully understand the magnitude of my decision to stop using all moisturisers. Seeing as it's Eczema Awareness Month too, I can't think of a better time to talk about it. As there is so much to cover, I have split this up into two separate posts: my skin story and moisturiser withdrawal experience then tomorrow I will be posting some tips (here) which I believe have helped me thrive for well over two years. This post is much longer than I anticipated but I hope you still find it helpful.

From the moment I was diagnosed with eczema when I was six months old, I was given moisturisers – so we are talking about a story which spans well over twenty-five years. It's an epic tale which ends with the protagonist freed from the at times suffocating clutches of her skincare routine. Over the years I've used creams, ointments, lotions, bath preparations, oils and anything else in between that have been marketed to help ‘manage’ the enigma that is eczema. There was a period of time in my childhood where it wasn’t much of a problem, but when I went to secondary school, aged eleven, my eczema returned and with it came all manner of treatments once more. I remember every doctor’s appointment I went to throughout my early teens – I would come out of the surgery clutching a prescription, full of hope that this was the cream that would help me. Nothing did of course – apart from topical steroids, and we all know how that relationship turned out.

I remember finding it funny that most labels on my moisturisers said things like, side effects can include red, irritated skin and rashes, when in effect they are being used to treat a condition that is essentially red, irritated skin and rashes. When I was a teenager, I was referred to the hospital and initially seen by a nurse called Jeanine who to this day, is the BEST person I have ever talked to about my skin ... why? Because she had eczema herself. Unfortunately, Jeanine; the nurse of dreams, left the hospital and I was seen instead by doctors and dermatologists who would either tell me to use strong steroid creams and immunosuppressants or throw a new emollient at me to try that they found in that blasted book of theirs which listed all medicines and treatments known to man. This pattern repeated itself throughout my teenage years and amongst other things, I had a course of oral steroids, topical steroids and let us not forget, Protopic. I then went through early adulthood using a mixture of topical steroids and moisturisers every day – all because I thought this was the only way to ‘manage’ my INCURABLE eczema.

*That petroleum jelly life*
Nearly two months into withdrawal on 

Sunday 28th July 2013
Fast forward to Thursday 6th June 2013 when I made the best decision of my life: to stop using all topical steroids and immunosuppressants. For the first six to seven months of withdrawal, I used petroleum jelly about four times a day as for me, that felt like the only way I could keep my skin barely functioning. Petroleum jelly was also recommended by many going through withdrawal at the time, but I found the process of using it pretty traumatic to be honest. Amongst other things, it would take ages to sink in, never came out of my pyjamas even after being washed so the material always felt stiff and cold, and it broke my mum's washing machine.
During those early months of withdrawal, I did some rather drastic experiments where I would take the petroleum jelly away and use nothing, but I can safely say the discomfort was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life, and I would only last a day or so before I’d have to use it again. At that point, I was using petroleum jelly on the entire top half of my body – I was lucky and never had to use it on my legs. I then decided to try tapering, and this is where I had more success. Each week, I would take petroleum jelly away from a small area of my body then the following week, take another area away. I started with the places that were the least affected until I was left only needing it on my face and hands; the two areas I suffered from TSA the worst. When I got to that point, I was in a bit of a stalemate; I found I was too scared to take petroleum jelly away from those areas as I still felt like I needed something so instead, I decided I would use lighter, more natural creams before taking the final plunge to being totally moisturiser free. I weaned myself down to shea butter (which wasn’t brilliant but did the job ok) then after that I tried coconut oil, but because my skin hated it, I thought there was no time like the present and from then on, I was able to completely withdraw from using all moisturisers. I think this all happened around February/March 2014 and looking back, I wish I had written down the exact dates.

*Spot the moisturiser*
Taken during the period when I used moisturisers 

again briefly on Monday 2nd March 2015
For a while, I remember my skin was happier when I used nothing on it. I was very dry and still had pretty tough symptoms from TSW, but knew I was better off without anything and was seeing lots of improvements. Things changed when I hit my anniversary flare in June/July 2014 where amongst other things, my hands went to a whole new level of bad and my left ankle suddenly started flaring terribly. To make matters worse, when the colder weather hit the UK, my skin was so dry. For months, I resisted using any moisturiser as I knew I would be worse off, but around February/March 2015, my mum was really worried about the deep cracks in my skin and how they would increase my chances of infection. At this point, I thought I would at least try using moisturiser again to see if it could help because I was really suffering. For the first few days things seemed ok, but it didn't take long for my skin to need more and more cream to achieve the same level of moisture. My skin was also getting extremely irritated and inflamed and rashes were spreading to areas that had been pretty much back to normal for months. During that short period of time, I tried quite a few generic high street moisturisers which had the same effect on my skin.

In March 2015, I decided I was better off without moisturisers (again) and as I had only been using them for a short time, and because I was just so irritated, I didn't even bother gradually withdrawing – I just cut them out completely. After that, things slowly improved. The redness and irritation brought on from using moisturisers again pretty much disappeared straight away and since then – bar my legs (because of shaving) and very rarely, my lips – I haven't used a single thing to moisturise my skin. Now, my skin moisturises itself and any issue I've experienced has been directly related to TSW and nothing to do with needing moisturiser – even better, I sometimes get a greasy scalp.

This is all still a work in progress, and I may feel that one day I need to use moisturisers again properly (hello winter!), but at this moment in time, my skin is happiest when I use nothing on it and just leave it alone. On the days where I don’t need to shave my legs, my routine consists of getting out of the shower, putting deodorant on and getting dressed – that's it. It’s still such a novel experience for me after a lifetime being restricted by what I could and couldn't do. Back when I had eczema, I used to dream of being one of those people who could do something like swim in the sea on holiday then get out and let the sun dry their skin and not have to immediately slather themselves in moisturiser to feel comfortable again. Now, I could actually do this if I wanted to. Going back, I would love to have seen what would’ve happened to my eczema if I had just left it alone and let any rashes I had dry up on their own, like I do now, but hindsight is a pointless exercise, isn't it?

If you have made it through this whole post, congratulations, and to anyone who is unsure what to do for the best, you've got to do what feels right for YOU. There is no right or wrong answer and not everyone will benefit from moisturiser withdrawal so trust your instincts.

Cara xxxx

Click (here) for some tips with Moisturiser Withdrawal.
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17 comments

  1. Oh Cara, I loved this post! <3 thank you so much for this! I really have felt the same way along my journey and it's so nice to hear someone else has as well. "Nothing did of course, apart from topical steroids, and we all know how THAT relationship turned out." Hahah, bloody brilliant! Made me laugh. Have a great day sweetie xxxx

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    Replies
    1. hehe glad you liked it darling and thank you so much <3 <3 <3 xxxxx

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  2. Thank you so much Kasia - an absolute pleasure and so happy you liked it <3 <3
    Big hugs
    Cara xxxx

    ReplyDelete
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  4. Hello, I was wondering if very itchy, fluid filled tiny blisters were part of your withdrawal journey. I never had eczema but used clobetasol and taclonex and protopic for 3 years for an autoimmune skin condition. I'm in month 5 of withdrawal. I'm not as severe as most online. Thanks for all of your info and pics! You're beautiful. Karen

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Karen and congratulations on getting through 5 months! I didn't have any blisters like that from what I remember (quite a lot of symptoms I think I've pretty much blanked out) but I have heard a lot of others that appear to have had what you've described. It sounds like some kind of hive, but obviously just my opinion!
      Hope they calm down soon and wishing you the best of luck with your withdrawal.
      Hugs
      Cara xxxx

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  6. Hi Cara, would you suggest gradually or immediately moisturizer withdrawal?

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    Replies
    1. In my opinion I'd do it gradually as I found it was too painful when I'd try taking all moisturisers away in one go. Doing it slowly, my skin was able to grow used to it and the transition was much easier. I hope, whatever you decide to do, it works well for you.
      Hugs
      Xxxx

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  7. I just started TSW two days ago. I have eczema all over, some of it very itchy, but wet wraps in the past few months helped me calm my very red arms and chest. Now, in these two days, my skin is so dry! I'm wondering if I should be trying to moisturize or just wait it out, with cold packs and oatmeal baths. A swim in the ocean just before my decision seemed to calm my skin too. As an aside, I've relied on Hydrolatum (an emulsion of petroleum and water). It might be better behaved than straight petroleum jelly. Thank you for your blog! It's great to learn about your experiences and have hope for improvement.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the comment Pamela! I think with something like moisturiser withdrawal it is so personal a decision and what benefits one person, might not necessarily help another - listen to your gut feeling and try it if you think it might help you. Wishing you the best of luck on your skin journey.
      Big hugs
      Cara xxxx

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