Another year has passed and somehow I am 43 months into my TSW journey. This will be my penultimate update blog post for a couple of reasons: 1) There is literally nothing to talk about bar the odd bit of anxiety and a minor rash or two. 2) I think I need to take a step back from over-analysing my skin. Since I have got better, I have thought more about my skin than I did when I was going through withdrawal and long-term, I don't think that's particularly healthy. I think I need to just breathe a little. I will obviously not be abandoning this blog though, far from it, and I won't just disappear. I don't have many photos from this month as there really wasn't anything to highlight but I will say that the skin on my hands is just beautiful and I couldn't be happier with their progress. Let's move on for now and talk about my skin over the last month:
- On Wednesday 7th December 2016 the rash on my forehead came up again, bringing with it to the party an uninvited guest rash that sat just above the original one. It also marked the return of my anxiety. I then proceeded to obsessively touch the skin on my face and I'm not sure if it was my mind playing tricks on me but my skin felt a little different too - I hasten to add that if you looked at me, you wouldn't have been able to see anything going on at all. Around my chin, the skin felt slightly lumpy which freaked me out because it felt the same as it did during certain parts of withdrawal *anxiety fun times*. I tried to not let it affect me but there I was, on the sofa, a complete mess as I cried to my mum, 'I'm going to flare!' I think the problem at the moment is I'm working flat out - I'm up at 6 a.m. every day by my laptop then apart from a few hours, that is where I'll stay until the evening. Of course I didn't flare - it was more a flare of anxiety than anything and the following day it was totally calm again. The new rash on my forehead disappeared quickly and the original rash calmed down, leaving a faint C-shaped ridge on my forehead.
- On Thursday 8th December 2016 I randomly felt my back (as you do) and got a bit of a shock. Even though my skin generally feels very smooth all the time now, I can't tell you how particularly silky the skin on my back felt - almost as if I had just used a heavy duty moisturiser. I asked my mum what she thought and she agreed. I think it's down to my natural oils still trying to find the right balance. Just incredible what the body can do and still so novel not to have to use anything on my skin.
- All day on Monday 19th December 2016 I felt like I was getting a cold and in the evening, my lips felt really sore and the rash on my forehead that we all know and love felt irritated again - you could only see the rash faintly though and there was no sign of any problems on my lips. Whenever I get any cold symptoms now, my lips ALWAYS do this. It's comforting in a way to finally find a link between something. It all calmed down again quickly.
- The rash on my forehead has come and gone all month and I think it's because I haven't been looking after myself so it hasn't had a chance to heal. I now have a pretty bad cold and apart from the rash and slightly dry lips, that's it. Not bad going. Now, I'm trying where possible to look after myself as I think this cold was sent to make me try and find some balance.
Cara xxxx
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