Life update + some rather exciting news!

I'm back after my little social media/blog holiday and have a lot of say - none of it to do with my skin per se but a little FYI on that score: it's been fantastic (photo taken today - as per, no filters or face make-up etc, just some eye make-up). Next month, I'm doing a proper skin update just before I hit my four year TSW anniversary (4 YEARS - HOW?!?!!?) and will explain everything then. In my absence, a lot of people have contacted me concerned that I was taking some time away because I was flaring again but I can assure you, it was absolutely nothing to do with my skin - the reason for my little hiatus was quite simply that I needed a break. I needed some time to completely focus, regroup and work out exactly what I wanted as I realised I was prioritising things I shouldn't be and going about everything so very wrong. The time away was just what I needed and I feel so excited about the next few months. I will try to explain in as few words as possible what I've been up to then finish by sharing some very exciting news with you all...

As some of you might know, recently, I have been working on promoting a book series that I self-published under the pseudonym Lily Divine. Well, a few weeks ago someone kindly decided to start using that name for their own erotic BDSM novel (as you do...). At first, I was naturally a little upset that someone had done that but after giving the matter a lot of thought, I realised it was a good thing as I had been having a lot of doubts with the name for quite some time and so, I made the decision to take down my books from Amazon and have been working on republishing them under my own name. I think it's for the best - I am proud of the little book series I wrote with swollen, itchy, cracked hands over 2014/2015. Bar other work projects, my time has been taken up rereading my books to make sure they are the best they can be, doing LOTS of admin and sorting out the covers. As many of you have been asking about my books, when they are ready, I will leave some kind of link on my blog for anyone who is interested. I have also decided to self-publish my Trichotillomania diary, MY DATE WITH GILLETTE, at some point over the next couple of months. I apologise to those who found it helpful having it here on my blog, and thank you so much for your kind emails and messages about it, but I think due to the personal nature of my story, it's for the best. I have also started work on two very exciting projects - the first has been editing the draft of a novel I finished at the end of last year and the second, is something I've been positively bursting to share with you...

This has been a long time coming and I am sure anyone who watched my Instagram Stories from a month or two ago will have already guessed what my announcement is going to be. Well ... you asked for a book on my experience of going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal and I've listened so yes, I can confirm I am in the process of doing just that with the (potential) title for it being, CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA.

I always knew I wanted to write a book about TSW but it never felt like the right time, until recently, when I knew I was ready - I think I just needed some time to process what I had been through for over two years of my life (and beyond, if we count the mental healing that is still an ongoing process). To be honest, I think I needed to write this book as a way of finding some kind of closure. I feel like I want to release all these tough memories - get them all out in the open - and in turn, hopefully help anyone who is suffering. I will obviously continue to run this blog in the future and talk about my experience, but I want this book to cover everything I went through and hopefully mean I won't have to think or talk about the harder aspects again.

In the short time I have been writing the book (I started on Monday 6th March 2017), I already feel SO much better. It has been a totally cathartic experience for me and by forcing myself to relive all the horrors of TSW, I have had to deal with certain memories that I tried very hard to bury - but like topical steroids, suppressing them, rather than dealing with the root cause, never works and they'll always find a way of coming to the surface in the end. Writing about my experience has been like a form of therapy and in recent months especially, and I've said this many times before, I've realised I definitely have some kind of PTSD from the trauma of it all.

The book will be made up of original content that you haven't read before about me or my withdrawal and articles, posts and information taken from this blog as there is quite a lot I have written on here that I feel is important to include. I want this book to cover every aspect of my journey with TSW. It will be real, raw and all my own work. In my head, it's this fully formed thing but in reality, that could mean it sinks like a soufflé and is a damn mess.

One thing I can safely tell you now is that it won't be some kind of 'How-to heal from topical steroid addiction'. As you probably know by now, I don't believe there are any quick fixes with this condition and time is the only true healer. My aim with the book is for anyone reading it to not feel so alone and to make them understand that what they are experiencing is normal. It will focus on both the physical and emotional side of the process because as we all know, TSA is so much more than a skin condition.

So far, it is going well BUT I would absolutely love your input - what do YOU want the book to cover? After all this is for you. You can either leave me a comment below or, if you wish, you can email me at tswcara@hotmail.com with any suggestions.

I have only been able to dedicate a small amount of time to writing it due to everything else going on, and I won't be able to work on it at all for the next couple of weeks, but I'm hoping to have the first draft finished by my 4 year TSW anniversary on 6th June 2017 - I will let you know if I manage that :-/ I have no release date yet but I think it will definitely be at least a good few months, maybe sometime in the autumn, as I am doing this book completely on my own and want to do the best job I can.

I am passionate about spreading awareness for the condition that completely changed my life. It was the best decision I ever made to go through TSW and I want others to know it IS possible to get better too. Going through Topical Steroid Withdrawal will always be a big part of my life, but it doesn't define me. To anyone suffering right now, it probably feels like the process IS your life, but it won't always be.

Remember always, my dear extended TSW family, that time heals.

Love & hugs,
Cara xxxx

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