Sliding Doors: Five things for five years

If you know anything about me and my journey then you will know how much I value any milestone, especially when it comes to my skin story and battle with topical steroid addiction. After writing over 100 posts for this blog alone, I feel like I have said everything there is to say about TSW, leaving it hard to find subjects I haven't already covered. The idea for this post came to me on Sunday 20th May 2018, which is a pretty significant date in terms of my journey with TSW that I talked about in last year's anniversary post (here). In a nutshell, I had a bit of a turning point on that date five years ago and knew I had to change my life and since then, I've been on a rocky road to self-improvement ever since.

Sliding doors is a concept that fascinates me and I always wonder what would have happened if I didn't have eczema, hadn't used topical steroids to treat it, hadn't got bullied, didn't have trichotillomania and dermatillomania... the list is endless but now I realise that if it wasn't for these experiences, which were horrendous, certain extraordinary events wouldn't have happened and with TSW in mind, I thought I would share some of them with you right now.


Because of TSW I conquered my trichotillomania and dermatillomania and as a result, one of my books is going to be published.
I can safely say that if it wasn't for going through TSW, I would never have found a way of dealing with my compulsions, trichotillomana and dermatillomania. Going through TSW taught me that if I could ignore my mind, that was telling me to give up and just keep going, I could do anything ... and so I did. 

Because of TSW I belong to the most extraordinary community and took part in a documentary that changed everything.
Filming Briana's documentary on TSW was wonderful and something I would not have expereinced if I hadn't gone through TSW as I would never be in the position where I could connect with others on a level very few get the chance to do in their lives. In the last few years I have met dozen of people in real life and talked with hundreds of sufferers online who know exactly what it is to go through something like TSW, and that in itself is truly special.

Because of TSW I write.
It is through my journey as a writer, along with a few other experiences, that have truly made me believe that everything happens for a reason. Many years before going through TSW, the desire to write was building up inside me but for a long time, I resisted as I neither had the confidence nor the time to start. TSW changed all that and suddenly, I had the luxury of time and a new outlook on life. During TSW I wrote my first full-length novel and a chick lit series amongst other things and learned so much that has shaped my writing no end, given me discipline and five years later, the desire to write is stronger than ever.

Because of TSW I truly appreciate what it means to be free.
I know I've said this a thousand times already but not having to think about my skin, after a lifetime obsessing over what creams to use or take away with me, what to do for the best, then of course the perpetual worry over using steroids and immunosuppressants, is amazing. As if a very heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The feeling of freedom will never get old and anyone who hasn't experienced skin issues will not understand just how lucky they are and how something they take for granted is not a guarantee.

Because of TSW I don't give up.
I have banged on about these three words for a long time now but TSW taught me to not give up as I had spent many years before withdrawal doing exactly that. Persevering, even when you feel like throwing in the towel and pushing through fear inevitably leads to the greatest gifts.


The process of TSW, and the realisation that you might not have much of a life for potentially years, is a little hard to swallow but time really does pass and here I am, five years later, and I have changed my life. I am beyond grateful I pushed through the pain, the sleepless nights, the doubt and anxiety, the intense and constant irritation and come out the other side. You will feel tested, like you are constantly at breaking point. TSW is a terrible thing, made worse by the fact that it is essentially an unnecessary process, but it will shape you, change you and you'll come out of it with so much more than you had going into it ... but I know even if I said a thousand more words of this nature the only way you will truly believe me is when you recover yourself ... so until then ;)

Cara x

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