Thirteen years TSW

As today marks thirteen years since I discovered (and started going through) Topical Steroid Withdrawal and changed the course of my life, I thought I’d share my book, Curing My Incurable Eczema. 

Writing and publishing the book in 2017, and going through the journey which inspired it, were some of the most important experiences of my life.

Whilst some of the book was written in early 2017, the bulk of it was written, edited, and published in seven weeks at the end of the year. I remember waking up at 5am every morning to work on it before going to my day job, then coming home and working on it some more, well into the wee hours. 

I truly never expected anyone to buy it, so to know that people have found it helpful over the last eight and a half years means the world to me. 

The most important work you do is usually the kind that you have experienced firsthand, and that couldn’t be more of the case than with this - I lived, ate, and breathed every single word of it. Two years of being housebound, then another two dealing with the mental fallout, is an experience that changes you - then, sharing your story after recovery, and connecting with others who have also been through it, is so special. 

This book, and what I went through, will always mean a lot to me - and to anyone who has a small voice in their head telling them to write a book on TSW, too… there will never be enough books on the subject, because each experience is unique. 

Here’s to a time when books on TSW are written by scientists and doctors who validate what we’ve been through, but until then, we have each other <3

Much love always,

Cara x

12 Years TSW

 Another TSW anniversary DONE!!

I obviously knew what today was, but I literally had to do a quick mental count to work out how many years it’s been since I started my wild & transformative path down the road of TSW. It’s a path that none of us have a map for, and so for most of it we are in literal & metaphorical darkness, scrabbling about for answers that we only find as we keep putting one foot in front of the other.

12 years ago today I Googled something like ‘addicted to steroid cream’ and changed my life. Even writing that sentence, a lump has formed in my throat. It will always move me because at the time I didn’t know the impact that decision would have.

I think most of us can handle some physical pain, but the true agony of this process is the fact that we don’t know when the pain will end. Then, when the physical pain ends, that is usually when the mental symptoms really kick in.

We are living in a very strange period of time where there is no room for discussion or debate which is so sad. I found myself withdrawing from this online space that is so precious to me because my experience of giving it time and sharing my opinions on eczema associations etc became something controversial, but I would like to share my message today because giving it time was the best thing I ever did for myself and whether you agree with me or not, this is what I did to get better. I didn’t use a magic product, drug, or take out five different food groups… I literally gave it time - that is it, and to anyone trying to navigate this mostly loving but sometimes toxic and intense space, I urge you to use it with caution, and before connecting online, take some time to reconnect with yourself. Until we get any kind of unbiased research on this, your gut voice is the most valuable guide at your disposal, so listen to it.

To anyone suffering right now, you don’t deserve this, you didn’t use the medication wrong, you don’t have a damn phobia of steroids - AND, most importantly, this is not your fault. 

Free yourself from the fear of the what if and doubt and try to focus on today. You’ve absolutely got this and I’m sending you all my love <3

Cara xxx

11 Years TSW

After sharing my experience with you for nearly 9 years now, you’ve pretty much heard everything already, so I end up sounding like a broken record, but I don’t think there will ever be a moment of clarity that compares to the one I experienced on 6th June 2013: the day I found TSW.

Up to then, I’d spent over 10 years watching my skin deteriorate as a result of steroids (topical & oral) and Protopic. I’d developed photosensitivity, skin thinning and resigned myself to a life where I was limited by what I could do because of my skin. Every time I’d go to the doctors, they’d tell me I had ‘incurable’ eczema and the only thing I could do was ‘manage’ symptoms.

When I found TSW, for the first time in over 10 years I was given an answer - a scary one, but finally, hope.

This time 11 years ago, I had no idea how my life was going to change. I’m also quite glad because I don’t know if I could have got through the next 4 years - housebound for 2 years as a result of the debilitating physical symptoms of TSW, then a further 2 dealing with the trauma of what I’d just been through, and crippling PTSD. But for all that process threw at me, I’d do it all again because it offered me skin freedom, passion to create change and a deeper connection to my body and mind.

To anyone reading this right now who is in the throes of withdrawal, I’m so sorry that your path lead you to TSW - you’re likely in pain, both mentally and physically, and plagued by doubt, but my platform was created by someone who was you - and is still you in spirit, because TSW is with me every single day. You can’t go through something as life-altering as withdrawal and for it not to leave an indelible mark. As a result, I’ll be an absolute pest, and an aforementioned broken record, until we get much needed research, medical support and awareness so no one else has to suffer as we all have.

TSW is completely preventable. You didn’t use the medication wrong - this happened because there is something wrong with the medication.

Sending love and healing, always.

Cara x

10 Years (T)SW

I was meant to share this yesterday (oops!). 

This is just a little post to share that yesterday marked ten years since I last used any medication for my skin and began my journey through withdrawal. 

For a long time, I imagined that on this milestone anniversary, I’d be celebrating in some exotic location, sipping champagne … but I’m too busy right now for that - and, in a way, I suppose that’s something to really celebrate. I’m living my life after a hellish drug withdrawal which ended up giving me back my life. 

Before withdrawal, I’d never have believed that I would be considered an activist of a cause – but here’s the thing, this process gave me passion unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. This iatrogenic condition has such a big place in my heart, and so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me until they blooming well acknowledge what we have all been through is real and NOT ECZEMA. 

To the beautiful people in this community who have allowed me to share their experiences either on my blog or Instagram account – thank you so much. To the people who have messaged me and shared their experiences – honestly, it’s been an absolute honour, and I have been inspired by your courage and I’m in awe of your strength as you navigate this hellish process whilst holding down jobs, being parents or carers … or simply trying to get through the day. It’s mind blowing. It might not feel like it, but what you’re doing every single day is an act of bravery and you should be so proud of yourselves.

It’s weird to feel grateful for something that nearly broke me mentally and physically, but I’d like to end by thanking the bastard that is our iatrogenic condition. Because of you, you senseless monster, I have made friends for life, been given skin I never knew was possible for me, and learned so much about myself and my body. It has also made me stronger, too, so yeah – I can say with certainty that I’m glad I went through it, and if someone gave me the option, I’d go through it all again if it led me here … but I’d prefer not to go through it again – just for the record.

As I enter my eleventh year, I am sending all my love and healing to you, dearest skin friends. May this be a year filled with skin freedom and joy.

Cara x

9 years (T)SW

For the first time, I am a few days late in sharing a blog post about my (T)SW anniversary. This is for a lovely reason though as I've been away with my wonderful mum on holiday – this photo was actually taken on my anniversary on Bournemouth beach feeling full of gratitude. Because these milestones mean a lot to me, I thought I'd share the words I used for an Instagram post I wrote on the day:

9 years ago today I Googled something like addicted to steroids and changed my life. 

Thank you, (T)SW, for being the best thing that ever happened to me wrapped in the worst thing that ever happened to me, but first I had to peel off the layers, the skin, to realise it. 

In sharing my experience for the last seven years, I am not professing to be an expert on skin, I’ve not got a medical degree – I’ve not even got A levels – but one thing I can offer is honesty. I stopped using medication that I’d been told was my only option to ‘manage’ my ‘incurable eczema’ and ended up with the best skin of my life. And this wasn’t from using some expensive product, or eating a miracle health food that has to be shipped in from the back of beyond, but simply time. 

Yes, the road was bloody tough, and it tested me in every way imaginable, but I’d do it all again in a heartbeat for everything it gave me – hard to imagine this process giving you anything but heartache and anxiety when you’re in the thick of it and filled with so much doubt, but (T)SW gave me so much more than it took away.

The lessons I’ve learned, seeing the kindness and bravery of others going through this preventable iatrogenic condition, has truly been extraordinary, so here’s to you, (T)SW – you absolute shit.

The best advice I can offer you is to take it day by day and seek distractions not cures.

Whilst I made a full recovery seven years ago, I feel like my journey won’t be truly over until (T)SW is finally recognised and no one else suffers from this preventable iatrogenic condition. 

We are all the foundations of this condition where research and a better understanding will be made, so here’s to all of us and a future that I hope will be much brighter for you and all the people out there who think they currently have ‘incurable’ eczema.

Time heals (physically and mentally).

Sending love and healing to you all,

Cara x

8 YEARS TSW

 

And so I have somehow reached 8 years since I stopped using all steroids and immunosuppressants, and oh my goodness it's been quite a ride.

I have been better nearly three times longer than I was in withdrawal, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't feel grateful that I didn't give up and kept going.

I don't know how it does it, but somehow it gets better, and the skin learns how to fend for itself again. 

I wish I could give you a better answer than to give it time, but that is the only thing I am truly sure of. 

Time heals.

Cara x

Seven Years

Today marks seven years since I stopped using topical steroids and completely changed my life.

If I’m being honest, I really don’t feel like celebrating today as there are far more important skin battles going on in the world right now, and my thoughts go to anyone who has had to fight for their skin, in one way or another.

Here’s to spreading awareness for causes and conditions that should never have been allowed to happen in the first place.

If you are struggling right now, it gets better. If you are doubting right now, it’s part of it. If you are looking for a miracle right now, it’s time x

Month 75 // Time

This was completely unplanned but yesterday I realised that today marks 75 months since I began my journey with topical steroid withdrawal, and not one for missing any kind of milestone, I just had to document it in a small way at least.

Left - Monday 29th July 2013 (nearly 2 months into TSW).
Right - yesterday! Give it time.

I genuinely can't believe so much time has passed, and yet at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. Another person ago. Now, I'm so glad I wrote a book about it all because, as predicted, I can't remember what happened. When you are in pain, time seems to stand still and those precious moments of bliss pass by too fast. That is just the way it is. Like me during secondary school. I was desperately unhappy and at the time, I felt like I would be stuck as a teenager forever, but now as an adult, time seems to speed up when I want to hold onto every single moment. 

Time. Time. Time. That is all it boils down to. Not enough of it - too much of it. Never just right. 

I go on about time because topical steroid withdrawal is the ultimate waiting game, although you end up winning more than you ever thought was possible: skin freedom.

Give it time.
Cara x

6 years

Taken Sunday. No filter.

And so I have reached six whole years since I made the life-changing decision to go through topical steroid withdrawal, only basing my choice on a few articles I had read online and a gut instinct that I was doing the right thing.

To this day I have never felt so sure about anything as I was on the night of Thursday 6th June 2013 when I googled ‘addicted to topical steroids’ and found the answer I had been waiting a very long time to find.

I can summarise how my skin has been since my last anniversary post in one sentence: no issues, just a pair of slightly chapped and wrinkly hands when it gets very cold. That’s it. I don’t really get dry lips anymore and I can't even remember the last time I had a rash. Seriously.

Taken Sunday. No make-up or filters.

In the last four years that I have been sharing my skin story, I have met people within our community who have inspired me; some have even become friends. Life is funny like that. From something so terrible, the positives have by far outweighed the negatives.

Whatever your current feelings towards this process are, always remember that this is your decision and yours alone to make.

What a ride it has been x

My Topical Steroid Withdrawal - Month 60 (FIVE YEARS STEROID FREE!!)

Taken last Sunday. No face make-up or filters.
Many freckles.

Like every year, this is up a day earlier than it should be because as per, I have written a special post to mark the actual anniversary, so keep an eye out for that tomorrow.

I haven't done a skin update in ten months so I thought it was about time that I did, especially seeing as it's such a huge milestone. Five years = sixty months TSW. How?! I'm feeling pretty emotional about it all at the moment and, to be perfectly honest, a little bit angry. I have always said that TSW changed me for the better and was by far the best thing I've ever done for myself (more positives coming tomorrow...) but that doesn't alter the fact that none of us should have to go through it in the first place. When I wrote my book, CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA, I wanted to use it as a means of closing a door on that chapter of my life but recently, I don't know, I'm feeling pretty passionate about spreading awareness so that hopefullly in the not too distant future, no one else will have to go through what we have. Every day on Instagram and Facebook I see hundreds of people suffering from topical steroid addiction, including children, and I'm finding it very hard to bear ... even though most of the medical community think we are doing this on some kind of arbitrary whim and through choice. What they don't seem to realise is that they have left us without a choice. Something has to be done. A skin condition has been created from a treatment that is meant to be helping us. The question is not IF topical steroid addiction is recognised but WHEN and I won't stop until we get there. I don't know if what I just said was positive or negative but regardless, it's the truth so make of it what you will. It is the reality.

I stopped counting what month TSW I am a LONG time ago but I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I'll not feel something on the 6th of every month, marking another small milestone since I started this crazy journey. I feel (BEYOND) grateful for my current situation: a woman who has recovered from topical steroid addiction and is living her life, and has done for nearly three years now. I will highlight specific things I have noticed during the last ten months but remember, these are minor issues and pretty much what most people experience in their lives, with or without a skin condition.

Also taken last Sunday. Still no filters or face make-up.
Still many freckles.

For many months after my last update post (here), there was absolutely nothing going on with my skin - it was simply skin and throughout the rest of summer and autumn it was exactly that. In early January this year, I decided after my experience writing and working on CURING MY INCURABLE ECZEMA and loving it, to really burrow away and simply write. That has pretty much been my life since then and as a result, both my diet and sleep has suffered. I have not been very balanced and a typical day (Monday to Saturday) has consisted of getting up at 6 a.m. before work to write, working, then coming straight home to write again. As it's taken its toll physically, I have been turning to sugary comfort food much more than usual and whilst that hasn't necessarily made me flare, I've noticed a difference both mentally and physically. My skin is basically reacting to food like someone without a skin condition would so I get the odd spot and now that my natural oils are back to normal, my nose has actually been greasy (greasy skin?! Who would have thought it!). When I've really gone to town on the junk, my skin will feel terrible and not look its best but absolutely no TSA symptoms. On top of that, I have been getting on average 6 hours of sleep a night and it's just not enough.

Now let's move onto the weather. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel as if last winter in the UK was one of the longest we've had in many years, with colder temperatures and snow even in spring! My skin was fine in the colder weather but when the temperature suddenly shot down, my skin was left feeling very chapped and sore on my face and hands but was minor enough for no one but me to really notice. I would also get the odd rash on my face and hands. I also found this winter absolutely brutal on my face generally from the constant, bitter wind and if the weather is the same next winter, I might have to look into using some kind of moisturiser, just as a means of protecting it somehow.

Around easter, the weather started to improve and I did my biannual panic about not using any kind of sun protection. In case you are unaware, every time I have used suncream post TSW, my skin has hated it and I have broken out in a rash wherever its been applied. Well, I tried another one recently and guess what? My skin hated it. It was marketed as an 'extra sensitive' fragrance free body mist. I tried it on the left-hand side of my face and on the first day of using it, there was no reaction and I started to get excited that I had found 'the one' but on day two, I came up in a mild hivey rash. It felt as if my skin was rejecting it. TSW is so good at making you hyper aware of everything you put in or on your body. I am still conflicted about whether I actually believe suncreams etc. are the right way to go but I think I might have to ignore my personal beliefs and use one anyway. If you have any recommendations, I am ALL ears ... and before you say Green People, I've tried it and my skin wasn't having it :)

The last thing I wanted to quickly mention is that I have started getting hay fever symptoms this year with irritated eyes and a runny nose. Oh the glamour! Even my non-skin friends have started to suffer from it too. Is there some kind of crazy pollen plant/flower that has suddenly decided to start growing?!

Bar my face and hands, I haven't had a single issue on my body, to the point where I have forgotten what it feels like to feel irritated or uncomfortable. Recently, a little ant crawled up my leg which naturally tickled and as a result, I scratched my skin and I remember how odd the act of scratching felt. That stopped me in my tracks for a moment and made me realise just how far I have come. When you're in TSW you can't imagine any other life bar one filled with irritation and discomfort. I cannot stress how different life is now and that TSW isn't forever. It is temporary.

A lot of people have messaged me to say they were upset by the absence of monthly updates over such a long period of time so I apologise for that. As a happy medium, I will aim for quarterly updates instead as I do acknowledge it's important to know what happens after withdrawal.

Because there really is an after.

Love & hugs,
Cara x

P.S. See you tomorrow ;)

My Topical Steroid Withdrawal update – 50 MONTHS TSW

This post comes to you via my brand new laptop (it's so pretty!!) and I am so excited that I can post blogs again and write but honestly, it's been amazing having a bit of a break. Seeing as 50 months of anything is a pretty big deal though, it seemed daft not to post another update of how my skin has been over the last few months. There are a few things I want to discuss but as per, they are all minor.

• I am not sure if it's the warmer weather but the skin on my face has been absolutely fantastic. Last winter, even though I still had great skin, it wasn't as good as it had been but since my last update post on 6th June, my skin has gone from strength to strength.
• On Tuesday 20th June 2017, my skin started feeling a little irritated. Not enough to scratch - more a prickling (and you definitely couldn't see anything was wrong). Over the next few days, I noticed a few faint rashes dotted about. My legs started looking a little bumpy/rashy too (pictured) and the following day, a small rash came up on my neck. I took an antihistamine on Thursday 22nd June which really helped and my skin was back to normal within a few days - I think it was just a reaction to the very hot weather we were experiencing in the UK.
• On Monday 26th June 2017, I tried a small amount Green People sun cream on my hands which a lot of people had been raving about but later that day, I noticed a little rash on my left hand (pictured) and a small irritated hive on my right hand (not pictured as my camera couldn't pick it up). If you have read my blog for a while, you will know that every time I have tried sun cream/lotion in the last few years - regardless of whether it's a natural or generic brand - I get rashes. When I have the funds, I'm going to get a skin test to see what I'm actually allergic to.
• When I moved back to London on Saturday 8th July 2017, I noticed I had a few raised lumps on my legs. Over the next few days they came and went but by Thursday 13th July there were many more (pictured) and for the next few weeks they would come up and go down. At first I tried using antihistamines to see if they would work but I sensed that whatever it was, just needed to run its course and nothing was going to help (a bit like TSW really...). It is very much like the rash I had last summer on my chest and torso etc which I talked about in a blog post (here) and I think this, like last year, is urticaria (hives). I have taken some photos over the last few weeks but for a start, we all know cameras don't truly capture what's going on and really, it was so minor in the first place that there wasn't much to see. Last year, I was in the middle of a very hard time, this year I moved to London and started a brand new job ... I think these things take their toll, no matter how you are feeling mentally and it's a lot of stress for the body. I think the rash stayed for as long as it did as I walk absolutely everywhere and for very long periods every day, so the constant friction doesn't exactly aid healing. After searching online, there is also the chance it could have been exercise-induced vasculitis ... well, whatever it was, it's gone now and that's all I care about. Interestingly, I didn't use moisturiser on my legs from Wednesday 19th July and that is when my skin really started to calm down. I love using moisturiser on my legs now for shaving etc but when my skin is irritated, I believe moisturiser exacerbates any issue - only my opinion though - and that is why I think moisturiser withdrawal helped me so much through TSW.   
• I want to finish with something positive. What's been interesting is my reaction to the rash on my legs. Last summer when I had the similar rash on my torso and chest, I pretty much thought the world was coming to an end - this time around, I am more rational and in the moments where I have occasionally felt myself getting nervous about it, I have refused to let anxiety take over. I simply told myself that it is only a harmless rash that will go on its own - and it did. Even though I'm not there yet, I really do feel like I'm finally healing mentally from TSW.

Well there's everything that's happened with my skin over the last few months. I'm still living life to the full nearly two years after TSW and it couldn't feel more wonderful. 

Never give up.

Cara xxxx

My Topical Steroid Withdrawal update – Month 48/4 YEARS!

On the eve of my four year TSW anniversary, I thought I would do a little update on how my skin has been since my last monthly update. I am putting this up a day early as I am posting something special tomorrow to mark the occasion. 

Wonderfully, I don't really have anything that interesting to report. I think I've realised that too much sugar/junk food mixed with cold weather and electric fan heating is a not a great combination and eating a sensible but balanced diet with plenty of exercise is important for the health of my skin. Over the winter of 2015/2016, I was pretty much sugar free, had a healthy, balanced diet and a very active lifestyle and bar any obvious TSW symptoms, I found my skin was incredible. I think in the warmer months I have a little more leeway with my diet etc but on the whole I always want to eat well, for me and my skin.

For a short time in early April then again in late May, I was bloated. Bloating is something I'd never had before (even though I've definitely had stomach issues) but for some reason, I've had it twice in a relatively short period of time - my theory is it's to do with stress or if I get very upset about something. Why I felt the need to mention it is that both times I was bloated I had a few spots on my face and the texture of my skin was a little odd too. To anyone else, my skin would have looked fine but to me, or anyone else going through a skin condition which makes you feel the need to dissect every single blemish or irregularity on your skin, I knew it felt and looked different. I definitely do believe there is some kind of gut imbalance with people who have eczema and/or are going through TSW. I don't believe it has any bearing on healing but I do believe there is at least something in it.

I find hands down that the condition of my lips and how dry they are is affected by either signs of a cold coming or my sugar intake and my lips really don't seem to like it when I have too much of it on a regular basis so I'm going to keep sugar down where possible. I have also been using Vaseline on my lips on the rare occasions that I need it and so far, there has been no issue. I will elaborate in a few months and talk about the changes to my beauty routine as I feel it's too soon to say anything yet.

My hands have been absolutely wonderful. The only issue I had was in late April - after a long period where the weather was warm and lovely, suddenly it was freezing and I got a tiny rash on my left hand (pictured below) but it went after a few days.

I definitely notice when I spend long periods of time glued to my laptop that my skin hates it - this isn't about rashes or flaring, just the quality of it isn't as good. If someone saw my skin who didn't know me or my story, they wouldn't think there was anything wrong but I know, if that makes sense.

I have been using a small bit of moisturiser on my legs as shaving etc really took its toll and so far, so good. My skin now appears to tolerate moisturisers BUT I want to give it a little longer before I start talking about and recommending any products as it's still early days. I'm not using moisturiser anywhere else and I'd rather not either as my feelings towards them are still not entirely positive and I'm only using it because of shaving etc.

I have nothing to say about any other part of my body as all I have now is unaffected skin (and it's soft at that!). I don't think any of my skin issues are related to TSW anymore - I believe what I have now is slightly sensitive skin which I wouldn't call eczema as it's too mild and I think over the years, fingers crossed, my skin will continue to go from strength to strength.

I really do believe that saying 'I've healed' is the kiss of death so I will continue not using the H word but I do think for the most part my TSW symptoms are gone and not coming back *TOUCH WOOD*. I don't know what would happen if I accidentally came into contact with either a topical steroid or immunosuppressant but I think enough time has elapsed since I last used either for there not to be a reaction. I know for a fact I will NEVER willingly use either of them again as they are not a solution and only mask any problems. Really, what is the point of them in the first place? The symptoms will still be there when you stop using them .... but I think that conversation is for another day :)

I would like to end this post by saying thank you for your support of both me and this blog. I am amazed by how it has grown over time and I'm so glad you like it.

Much love,
Cara xxxx

*Author photo taken on Thursday 11th May 2017*

I thought I would add in the next photo which I used for my #TransformationTuesday feature on Instagram (here). Photo on the left taken Tuesday 2nd July 2013. Photo on the right taken Thursday 11th May 2017. Never give up. 

My Topical Steroid Withdrawal update – Month 45 (Last one!)

It's time for my last monthly update post. I will definitely be doing other updates in the future but in a more relaxed way and certainly not every month - more like every quarter or something. I think it's definitely the right thing to do and I am really looking forward to not thinking as much about my skin. I've had to do that in one way or another my whole life - first with my eczema, then with TSW but now as there is nothing really to talk about, I want to celebrate that and take a step back. So for the last time, here is what has happened with my skin over the last month:

• I have felt as if the the rash on my forehead over the last month has wanted to come up, and for the first part of the month I could see almost an undercurrent of it lurking there, but it's almost as if something is stopping it from really appearing and I think it's hands down due to my diet which is excellent at the moment - no refined sugar and generally very healthy (my definition of 'healthy' includes still being able to eat gluten & dairy, which you might disagree with me on). On the odd day where the area felt a little irritated, nothing showed, but sometimes, a few days later, there might be a small patch of dry skin. 
• My lips have not been dry at all this month (bar one time which I will discuss a little later with you in this post) - again, I think it's down to not having sugar.
• On Sunday 12th February 2017 I noticed identical patches of dry, slightly sore-looking skin on my shins. Very strange as they were in the exact same position and size so I'm wondering if I leaned somewhere and that caused a reaction - I can't think how or what though. I've included a picture of the rash below so you can see for yourself. Around the same time, I also noticed a small rash just above my left knee (that went quickly). Generally, my legs were dry and slightly scaly for a few days before I noticed the rashes. Another issue I've been dealing with is some keratosis pilaris on the back of my thighs which no amount of dry body brushing is changing. I have a feeling the shaving cream I've been using isn't good for my skin and soon I'm going to try coconut oil as an alternative and maybe look into something for the keratosis pilaris and scaly skin as shaving etc is probably drying them out.
• On Monday 13th February 2017 I spent the day outside - it was very cold and at one point I walked up to the top of The Monument which is 62 metres tall and completely open to the elements. I spent maybe twenty minutes to half an hour up there with extremely STRONG wind hitting my face which is definitely not a normal occurrence. When I woke up the following morning, my skin felt so tight and a little bit sore, plus my eyes were slightly puffy. I stayed wrapped under my quilt, scared to look in the mirror as I was worried I’d see the swollen, weeping face I had at the beginning of my withdrawal. Obviously, when I finally plucked up the courage to look there was NOTHING there – just my mind taking slightly chapped skin and messing with me. For a few days afterwards though, the skin on my face felt so tight and sore. Amazing that nothing showed and my mum even said how good my skin looked. STRANGE. 
• On and off for about a week leading up to Friday 17th February 2017, there was a small oval area on my right nipple that was slightly more pink than the skin around it and the area was also very itchy (not enough to scratch though). I found it very odd as I haven't had a single issue with my boobs for a VERY long time. I think something must have irritated it. After a while (I didn't keep track of the date), the patch dried up before vanishing.
• On Wednesday 22nd February 2017, as part of my no sugar challenge, I had some sugar as a test to see what would happen to my skin. After I'd had it, some of the symptoms I experienced were dry lips, an itchy scalp and a couple of hives on my neck. The following day I had an itchy hive on my stomach. The symptoms didn't last but I found the reaction fascinating. On Tuesday 28th February 2017, as part of another experiment for the no sugar challenge where I had some organic chocolate, I got a few small rashes on my face, but they went VERY quickly (when I say quickly, I mean two hours...). I will be blogging about my no sugar challenge in more detail soon and will elaborate more then. 
• I just wanted to add that I've found this winter generally much harder on my skin than last year. I haven't flared at all and have discussed every single issue I've experienced on this blog but I don't know, there is something about my living situation at the moment, opposed to when I was living London, that's taken it's toll. Now, I have a much more sedentary lifestyle which involves me sitting in front of my laptop all day. Last year my job was very physical and I didn't get much down time. There is also the added issue that at my mum's house, there are electric fan heaters opposed to radiators. I'm trying to pinpoint the exact reason why and of course I'll let you know if I ever find out.
• Like I said earlier, for the last few months I've noticed that no matter what I do, the keratosis pilaris I get on the tops of my thighs is not budging (not sure if I've ever mentioned before that I get it there sometimes). I have been trying a few things to see if anything works, and it's definitely too early at the moment to say whether it’s helping, but when I've given it enough time, I will write a separate post about all the changes in my routine etc.

Again, because I am not doing these posts anymore, it doesn't mean I'm going to disappear - quite the opposite in fact as I have so many posts lined up! You would think I'd have run out of things to say by now ... apparently not.

Love & hugs, 

Cara xxxx

I thought I would include this next picture as it was a TSW highlight for me. On Tuesday 21st February 2017, I decided to mix up my traditional before and after photos for #TransformationTuesday on Instagram (here) with something a little different and so I created the hashtag #WhatTSWtaughtMe in the hope it could be a place where anyone who wanted to could share their positives of going through TSW. The response was absolutely amazing and others in our fabulous, ever-growing family shared their own positives which were beautifully written and so inspiring. I am blown away daily by the kindness and courage within our community and I would love to see anyone else's #WhatTSWtaughtMe.

My Topical Steroid Withdrawal update – Month 44

It's time for my monthly update post. I was planning on making this the last one but after an interesting skin month (don't worry, I've not flared at all!), it would be a very odd place to leave it but next month will definitely be the last one ... I think. As per, here is what has happened with my skin over the last month:

• On the evening of Friday 6th January 2017 my cold got worse and as a result, my lips were drier. My skin also felt really crappy (dry and sore) and I kept expecting to see redness when I looked in the mirror but there was nothing. My lips recovered very quickly, along with the sore/dry feeling.
• On the evening of Monday 9th January 2017 my skin felt irritated and the rash on my forehead came up a little. I took an antihistamine and very quickly everything calmed down.
• On Saturday 14th January 2017 I decided to cut out refined sugar (along with things like honey etc, only having fruit sugars or food that turns into sugar) for a while as I had not been feeling too great and when I did it in August 2015 for about four months, the difference in my skin and body shape was crazy. After a few days of not eating sugar and having a really healthy diet, on Monday 16th January 2017 a couple of rashes came up on my face - the good ol' reliable one that has made many a cameo appearance on my forehead for the last few months returned (and was a little bigger this time) and another to the righthand side of my chin - plus I also had very dry lips. I think my skin came up not only because I took out sugar but also due to my period, lots of stress and very cold weather. I don't believe those factors on their own do much but if the timing is right, and they all happen at once, they have the ability to produce a small reaction on my skin. When the rashes first came up, I thought I was totally cool with them, until I woke up in the middle of the night and had an almighty panic attack. Not pleasant. I think I am only really dealing with TSW now and for the last few months I have experienced more anxiety than I ever have before. I could lie to you and just glaze over these things but I do feel you need to be prepared - TSW is tough in every imaginable way. Still the most rewarding experience of my life but that doesn't mean it's been easy. I really wish the mental symptoms were talked about a little more within our community as they are just as debilitating as the physical ones. Back on the subject of sugar, I feel SO MUCH better now - the quality of my skin has just been amazing recently, the rashes have gone, my lips aren't dry, the keratosis pilaris that I occasionally used to get on the tops of my arms (but had been much better since I started dry body brushing) has completely gone and the skin is so smooth and lovely again. I'm not talking specifically about TSW symptoms here but I do believe for me at least that not having sugar makes a massive difference. In a few months I'll relax the no sugar thing but I think I just need some proper time away from it again.
• I also want to add that even though the rashes have gone for now, I have a feeling the rash on my forehead isn't done with and there is still life in the old girl yet and it'll be making a few more appearances until it goes for good. Only a hunch though.
• On Friday 27th January 2017 the skin on my face felt so hot. I kept looking in the mirror and nothing showed but it felt like my skin was hot enough to fry a damn egg on it. Not the best feeling in the world and I'm wondering if it's just my skin adjusting ... again. Ah, the many symptoms of TSW!
• On Tuesday 31st January 2017 I spent the entirety of the day in front of the computer - I mean from seven in the morning until nine in the evening - and at the end of the day my skin felt irritated. The rashes on my face, even though you couldn't see them, felt irritated and my hands too. I definitely think sitting in front of a computer all day is terrible for my skin but unfortunately that is going to be my life for the next few months so we'll see how that goes. I'm going to try and find my old illusive friend balance to see if that will help me keep my skin calm.
• On and off over the month I've had the odd hive on my hands and arms - always ridiculously too small and faint to take a photo of though. I'm trying to find the website where I heard this but apparently hives are the last stage of withdrawal ... I'll take that. If anyone heard this too, please let me know. *Thanks to a lovely reader who sent me a link where it is mentioned (here).*

Hugs

Cara xxxx  

Next, is a video I posted via my Instagram Stories (broken up into two parts due to size) along with a couple of pictures from the evening of Monday 16th January 2017 where a few rashes etc came up on my face.

Next, are a few photos from another FABULOUS TSW London meetup that took place on Saturday 21st January 2017. Starting life as a picnic for three on the floor of the British Museum last summer to a twelve-strong group today, the meetups have come a long way. We went to a vegetarian & vegan restaurant called Mildreds in Kings Cross (here). It's always such a pleasure to speak to a group of people who truly get it and what a lovely bunch! If you live in or are willing to travel to London and would like to hear about future meetups, join the TSW London Network on Facebook (here). As always, thanks to the lovely Steph for organising it!

I thought I'd include another #TransformationTuesday post that I put up on my Instagram account (here). For reference, the photo on the left is from Saturday 24th January 2015 and the photo on the right is exactly two years later on Tuesday 24th January 2017. I have to say out of every part of me through withdrawal, looking at my hands back then was like an out-of-body experience - they felt totally alien to me, I almost couldn't understand what I was looking at, and could not for the life of me imagine them ever getting better BUT somehow the skin repairs itself so try to remember that absolutely anything is possible with this.