Weeping skin? Grim.
Bone-deep itching? Hideous.
Burning skin? Horrible.
Insomnia? Tough.
Hair loss? Heart breaking.
...Doubt? TORTURE.
The physical side-effects of TSW are there for all to see, keeping us hidden away from the world and scared to leave the safety of our bathtubs ... but the thing that hurt the worst for me? The doubt that crept in to play with my mind. A variant of these statements were never far from my thoughts throughout the bad times of withdrawal:
'Will I ever get better?'
'WHEN will I get better?'
'Am I actually harming my skin more by doing this?'
'Are the doctors right?'
'Have I actually just got chronic eczema?'
'Will I ever socialize again?'
'Will I ever feel comfortable?'
'Will I ever just be a girl again and wear makeup and pretty dresses?'
Answer? You WILL get better. Never forget that.
I am not offering medical advice in this post and anyone who reads this, I cannot possibly tell you what you have but if you are here, I am sure you have at one time in your own withdrawal felt one (or more) of the above statements. It's hard when the world is against you to keep fighting, but the best things in life don't come easy and I have said it a million times, the hardest battle of TSW is your mind.
But it is a battle that is worth the fight.
For me I had no option but to do Topical Steroid Withdrawal. I was at a point where I could either use stronger and stronger steroid creams until there was nothing left or just go cold turkey. I try to keep positive and if you have ever seen any of my YouTube videos, you will already know that but it doesn't mean I didn't struggle with the mental anguish that TSW throws at you.
This post was inspired by a lovely lady who asked me on Facebook today if I had doubts going through my own withdrawal. I hope this helps some of you out there who may have been feeling the same way.
Sending you all BIG virtual hugs.
Cara xxx
Amen!!!!
ReplyDelete:D xxx
DeleteHi dear face
ReplyDeleteI just read this post for the first time and the tears only fall on my face, I do not know why or maybe I do.
I am from Mexico here is not much information about tsw, almost all the information is in English, finding your blog on the web has been of great help to me.
First I want to thank you because, thanks to your testimony, I am confident that there is a way out of this, right now I am in my 13th month of tsw, the last 6 months were very good for me, my skin was clean and I believed that already I've been through the worst, now I'm in what they call anniversary bengal and I'm trying to find information about it, I wanted to ask you if you had your own anniversary flare and how it went with it.
A big hug.
Thank you for the lovely comment and I'm so glad my blog, and story, have helped you in a small way <3 I certainly had an anniversary flare which came, like you, in my 13th month. It's very disconcerting that TSW is a non-linear process as it can really cause a lot of doubt to surface.
DeleteWishing you the best of luck with your withdrawal and just reach out if you need to.
Big hugs
Cara xxxx