TSW. Trichotillomania. Books. Life.

My Topical Steroid Withdrawal update – Month 42


Yet another month has passed without incident and as per, there are only a few MINOR issues I want to discuss. It's been another great month for me personally with one hurdle in particular I've managed to overcome *I talk about that in more detail (here)* ... but I shall cut the ramble before it grows roots and just get on with talking about my skin:

  • From the beginning of the November it was absolutely freezing and as a result, the heating was on a lot - and sometimes even when we probably didn't need it. I also decided to indulge in a guilty pleasure of mine: standing over the electric heater ... I know, I may as well baste myself in coconut oil and pop myself in the oven. Well, a few days after the influx of artificial heat, my skin started feeling rather parched and a little ashy in places - what a shocker. I mean, you couldn't really see anything, it was more how I felt. When I realised how much it was affecting my skin, my mum and I made sure to put the heating on as little as possible and very quickly the dry/ashy skin disappeared. We still had the heating on when we really needed it though, it's just amazing that by implementing a small change you can make a world of difference.
  • On Tuesday 8th November 2016, the area on my right hand that I talked about in last month's update post (here) changed texture and was a little red again. By Saturday 12th November 2016 the skin had dried up and was nearly back to normal (see photo below).
  • On the evening of Tuesday 15th November 2016, I noticed there was an area on my right wrist that was rashy and there were also a few spots just below where the original rash on my right hand was, so the entire area affected made a line that ran from my right knuckle below my thumb down to a small patch on my wrist - I tried to take a photo of it but it wasn't coming out. The next day it had all vanished but I could still *feel* it there, if that makes sense, lurking under the skin. That evening (16th), my wrist got really irritated and I noticed a few small patches of red and a couple of spots with heads on that I squeezed and made the area even more irritated. Even though it was pretty itchy, I was able to resist scratching it and instead put something cold on my skin that completely killed the itch. I also decided to take an antihistamine (hadn't taken one in months) and within half an hour, the itch had gone and by the next morning, my skin was completely calm again. It was exactly like this last month with the other rash on my right hand. Also, this could have nothing to do with it but on the 16th, I'd been working on my laptop since about 6 a.m. and it was roughly 8 p.m when the rash started to get irritated. The following day I made an effort to get off my laptop as much as possible and that weekend, I took a proper break away from it and by Monday morning the skin was completely back to normal.
  • On Friday 25th November 2016 I had slightly dry lips and by the evening I got into the habit of licking them. The following day I had a crack in my bottom lip that was very sore but over the next few days the skin slowly recovered until it was back to normal on Tuesday 29th November 2016.
  • I also wanted to mention that on Friday 11th November 2016 I started dry body brushing and the difference in my skin since then has been amazing. I've been brushing every two days just before I get in the shower and the areas I've targeted are my legs, the tops of my arms and elbows. The dry spots on my legs that I talked about last month have VANISHED and some little spots I used to get occasionally on the tops of my arms (called Keratosis Pilaris) have not returned since I started. I am going to try it out for another month before I talk about it in any more detail, and I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone with broken skin, but one of the benefits of dry body brushing apparently is that it stimulates the lymphatic system ... hmm... Anyway I'm going to take it slow, continue to use only a soft bristled brush and not attack my skin with it like there's no tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on how it's going. 
  • At the end of November the weather turned ICY cold and as a result, the heating was back on a little too much ... and I said hello to a small rash on my forehead on Wednesday 1st December 2016. I was totally cool with it being there at first but on Friday evening, something suddenly changed and its mere presence made my anxiety go into overdrive. I started panicking that I was going to flare and I even found myself analysing my skin obsessively for any other signs that a major flare was about to happen. Even though there was absolutely nothing wrong, my mind distorted reality and I was almost seeing changes to my skin in certain areas. Not pleasant. Anxiety is a very real and scary symptom of TSW. Never feel alone with it because you're not. I have attached a little video below (broken into two parts) that I posted on my Instagram account the morning after it happened. Ending on a high, after the rash appeared we were again very careful with how much we put the heating on, instead opting to wear approximately eight thousand layers and over the next few days, the rash slowly died down, along with my anxiety.
  • I should also mention that I think the heating has been more of an issue this year as I'm living with my Mum again and she has electric heaters opposed to radiators so they basically sprew out this extremely dry, hot air into the atmosphere. I think radiators are a little gentler on the skin - well, it's my theory anyway and I could easily be wrong. Another theory I have at the moment is that if I feel like I'm coming down with a cold, my skin starts to feel slightly irritated. There was a woman who came to the house in late November with a really bad cold and she was coughing like crazy - a day later, I had a few cold symptoms so wondering if that contributed to the rash on my forehead. Ah, theories, theories, theories...

To anyone suffering, and I know I have been saying this on a loop since I got better last year, but I cannot stress enough how grateful I am to have gone through this process. TSW will test you in every imaginable way - and it doesn't help that it takes approximately one million years to recover from - but I never dreamed in my life there would be a time where my skin could ever be this good.

Love and hugs <3
Cara xxxx




Earlier, I mentioned that I had overcome a personal hurdle *that I talk about in a post (here)*. In a nutshell, I've suffered with the conditions Trichotillomania and Dermatillomania for a very long time but on Thursday 24th November 2016 I turned a corner and was able to shave my legs with a razor for the first time in years. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't suffered with either condition the true significance of such a simple act, but to me it's something I wanted for a very long time and to finally be able to do it was extraordinary. I'm not cured, but I'm getting there and I couldn't be happier.

On Saturday 26th November 2016, I had the absolute pleasure of meeting up with a group of girls going through TSW (bar Stephanie that has suffered with severe eczema *to read her interview about her skin battle, click here*). I have so much love and respect for our community that continues to amaze and inspire me <3

I never normally post these pictures on here but I thought I'd make an exception. Most Tuesdays on Instagram I try to put up a #TransformationTuesday picture from my own withdrawal. In all honesty, I can't actually remember ever being the person on the left. I have some flashbacks and memories but it's almost like those first months of withdrawal never happened. You might be feeling like the the person in the left-hand photo right now and can't imagine ever being back to normal again but you do get there and it feels wonderful.



The video I posted on Instagram about my anxiety on Saturday 3rd December 2016 
(broken into two parts due to size).





4 comments

  1. Hey Cara,

    Found your blog here, its very motivational. Im glad i found it. Thanks a million for putting this together.

    I have been suffering with tsw for about 14 months. Im definitely healing and gone through the big hurdles i would say. Right now im still in mild flare ups, with some redness on face(mainly when a slight flare comes around)

    Im past the whole intense burning and constant flaking. Right now the rashes seem to stay in same spots, right on the wrist like in this post. And also still have them on inner elbows. Rashes from legs have disappeared though.

    Im wondering do you have a post on the wrinkled skin finally healing. Im wondering when did that finally start clearing up for you... My skin looks constantly wrinkled when i tense up around my neck, eyes and forehead. I just feel all this wrinkled leather feeling type of skin inst healing... :s.

    Im assuming just with time it all heals like everything else but just thought i would ask. :)

    Thanks again for your post!!

    Happy holidays and god bless! Joseph :)

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    1. Thank you so much for the comment Joseph and I'm so glad you like my blog - it's turned into a complete passion project of mine. Congratulations on getting through 14 months too, an amazing achievement. The wrinkled elephant skin went over time - it was a gradual thing that disappeared over the two years I was in withdrawal. For a long time, especially in the second year when I was in this stagnant stage, I thought that was my new skin and I'd just have to accept it but no, it's all good now and hasn't returned since I got better about sixteen months ago!
      My only real advice would be to give it time - know that in the end it will go and it'll feel amazing when it does!
      Hugs to you and wishing you the best of luck with the rest of your withdrawal.
      Cara xxxx

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  2. Thank you so much Cara for your response!! Really thank you. Just hearing those words from someone that has gone through TSW just gives that reassurance that it will keep getting better.

    I emphasize on the "someone else going through TSW" because there’s no one around in most TSW suffers daily lives that understands what’s this like and exactly what we’re going through. Especially for me being a guy I cant even talk about it really with my guy buddies. They show the respect and nod but most people don’t understand that it really is painful.
    Most people would think " oh so your saying you just have a simple rash" "Oh well that doesn’t sound bad that shouldn’t be hurting you" But as us TSW suffers we all know how painful this is and how bad the mental aspect can be. I really feel the mental part takes the biggest drain of energy from you then the actual physical of TSW.

    Especially for me i was use to a job in sales and constant interaction with customers. Ive been fortunate that I was single and had savings and didnt have the pressure of taking care of a family. But I can just imagine if I did, I know family is good for support but if you’re the one supporting oh man that would take a big tole on someone.
    All i can say is for the ones that still have to take care of there love ones and work and also for any younger kids or teens that are still in school suffering through TSW and having to deal with the social norm and pressure which sometimes are society puts us in… My heart goes out to all of you, I really feel for all of you and i wish you all the best!.

    Thanks again Cara! Really appreciate this site. Best wishes to you!. :)

    Joseph

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    1. Oh my goodness, I couldn't agree more with everything you have said!
      Big hugs to you - have a great new week.
      Cara xxxx

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